It’s Odd.

I’ve thought about how to start this for at least an hour. I thought, perhaps I should apologize for my unannounced leave of absence, or maybe I could just straight pour my heart out…but none of that felt right. So, I don’t know. Maybe I should just start somewhere…

Earlier today a friend of mine stopped by. He had forgotten that he needed to pay me for a few decals I made him…irrelevant, really. He came by and we were chatting a little, I brung up something from work, about one of my coworkers. He thought I was talking about the usual girl who works on my shift, but I wasn’t. He then proceeded to make a comment about this guy being bummer because she had a girlfriend. The same guy who I have sort of developed a small crush on… That’s when a few things dawned on me.

It’s odd how easily someone can develop some kind of crush on someone else. It started by my brother’s constant nag at me about getting a boyfriend..picking really. He keeps bringing up one of the guys that lives down the road from us, someone I went to high school with. He’s make little jokes that he’s single and this and that. I would just brush it off. Honestly, if he’s interested he can hit me up himself. But the more it sat in my mind, the more often my brother brings it up, the more I sort of developed this little crush on him. And then today, finding out that he has some kind of crush on my ex-druggie co-worker. Which brings me to the next point…

It’s odd. I never get hit on at work. Unless you count drunk guys. Married drunk guys. *sigh* It’s not that I’m too much bothered by it, maybe it’s the hormones right now, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt just a little bit. If there’s a cute guy that comes in, they almost always hit on my co-workers. Never me. Every other female in that store has a significant other, except me. So why don’t I get the same attention?

I also find it odd that people will ask if I’m married (probably just for conversation) and be shocked when I reply no..and that I don’t even have a boyfriend, or so much as an interest in anyone – not really my fault I guess. But if they’re single they don’t comment, it just gets a little awkward. Yeah, I’m single, thanks for reminding me. “You’re too pretty to be single.” Yeah, well apparently not pretty enough to get any attention. So whatever.

Maybe it isn’t even about the attention. It just puts me down a little..makes me wonder what’s wrong with me. Do I look miserable? Too fat? Not attractive? What is it? It obviously can’t be because of where I work..everyone else is hit on.

I’m sorry if it seems petty, just some late night thoughts I guess. Next time my brother brings him up I’ll be straight up like, “I doubt he has interest in me.” And leave it at that. I’ll just keep waiting for someone I guess. Maybe it’ll happen.

It’s okay, just a little odd.

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Book Haul #4: Biggest Thriftbooks Order Yet!

Hey Y’all!

It’s been a few months since I last posted a Book Haul for you guys, but recently I made my biggest Thriftbooks order yet! It’s actually 2 separate orders, but I made them in one day, so it still counts. (LOL) Before this order my largest Thriftbooks purchase was of 13 books (the entire Series of Unfortunate Events), but as I said, this order takes the cake as the largest because these two orders combined contain 20 books. That’s right, I said TWENTY books! So, let’s jump on in and see what I got!

ORDER 1

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The week or so before I made this order I was talking to a friend of mine (and fellow book lover) about where we were in our reading journey and he mentioned about reading the Narnia series. That’s what triggered me to making this order. I knew I had the series on my Thriftbooks wishlist and I loved them when I was in school, so naturally I had to add them to my cart. Along with this order I also added the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. To wrap up this order I added Ellen DeGeneres’ book Seriously, I’m Kidding. I purchased this a few years ago when it first came out but it got ruined when I let someone borrow it. As I mentioned  in my last post, after I finish Harry Potter, I plan on reading the Series of Unfortunate Events, and after that is when I plan on reading the Narnia series. (I know, I know..it seems like months away but I’m one book away from starting SoUE, and those shouldn’t take long as they are much shorter than the HP series.)

 

ORDER 2

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Order number 2 consisted of more childhood favorites. These 8 books have been on my wishlist for a while. They were actually one of the first sets that I put on my wishlist when I first found out about Thriftbooks! Some of these I have read before when I was much younger and some I have just watched the movies. One of the things that prompted me to order these (aside from just wanting them and getting some things off my wishlist) was that these were books that I could read to Link and possibly pass on to him. Roald Dahl and E. B. White wrote books that have become such classics for younger kids, and I just *had* to have them in my collection.

 

I hope you enjoyed seeing my latest purchase from Thriftbooks! I’m not sure when I’ll have another Book Haul from Thriftbooks, but I do plan on heading to Goodwill in a few weeks so look out for a possible haul then.

Happy Reading! ♥

January Monthly Reading Update!

Hello, Loves ♥

As you may know I set myself a reading goal of 100 books for the year. Since making that goal I felt like should update you at the end of each month to share how it’s going and give myself some accountability.

For the month of January I successfully read 6 books! It feels like a pretty low number compared to my challenge number, but I’m super proud of it! I’m *technically* 2 books behind according to Goodreads, but I’m determined to double that number this month and read 12 books!

So, here’s what I read in January: Harry Potter books 5 and 6, Me Before You, and Single Wide Female Books 6, 7, and 8. (Single Wide Female is an eBook series I came across on Amazon. They are super quick reads, similar to a short story.) I feel like I could have read a lot more but the Harry Potter books are pretty lengthy so I feel like they have slowed me down a bit. Thankfully I just have the last one to go and I’m done with the series.

That brings me to what I’m currently reading for the month of February: Harry Potter #7, Single Wide Female #9, and The Notebook. Once I’m done with HP7, I’m going to read Cursed Child and then start the Series of Unfortunate Events.

I know this was kind of short and sweet, but not too much happened this past month. Next month I plan on reading twice as much, so hopefully I can stick to that plan!

Happy Reading! ♥

2017 Resolutions

Happy New Year! ♥

To start off 2017 I wanted to share my 2017 Goals and Resolutions! I wanted to get these up before the end of 2016, but, I’m Queen of Procrastination. I’ve seriously had a never-ending to-do list since before the holidays and feel like I have marked off nothing! It’s a new year, a new start. 2016 was a shit-show and I’m determined for 2017 to be so much better.

This year I wanted to keep it practical. I even gave myself a new motto: “Progress not Perfection.” I wanted to make this year better, and with that comes the progression from one year to another. Now, on to the list!

  1. Read 100 books. — Last year I decided to get back into reading as a hobby. I started a little later (in July versus January like most people) and set my reading goal on Goodreads for 50 books. I did really good in July and read 11 books; pretty impressive for getting back in the swing of reading for fun. When school started in August my time was overcome with homework and classes so my reading time was cut short and I cut back my reading goal to 25 books. Once I reached that goal around October/November I moved it up to 30. I reached that goal, too, and moved it up again to 35. Once I met that goal I left it. I ended 2016 reading 39 books in those 6 months. This year I’m determined to read 100 books at the very least. (I’d love to read more!)
  2. Take better care of myself. — This can mean many different things. When it comes to this goal I’m thinking more of day/night routines. I need to wash my face way more than I have been, especially being I wear makeup nearly daily. I also don’t floss as often as I should and I’d love to have a beautiful, sparkling white smile. I also want to take more time for relaxation which can go hand in hand with my reading goal — more relaxing baths, quiet time when no one is home, face masks at least once a week, mani-pedis, etc…
  3. Take more photos. — I feel like this is always on my resolution list, especially since I got my fancy-schmancy camera when link was born. I also need to get in the habit of getting some printed out, I’m terrible at giving people photos, they tend to get hoarded on my SD card or laptop. Occasionally they make it to Facebook, but more so when it’s of other people. (As I’m typing this I’m making a mental note to post the pictures I took on Christmas of my Aunt and 2 cousins…)
  4. Keep up the blog. — This is one that can sometimes be challenging. I tried to keep myself on a schedule last year and it worked for a while but the close it got to the holidays to more I dipped off. This year I’m determined to keep this blog running even if not one person reads it.
  5. Start a small business with my Cricut. — As you may know from one of my most recent posts, I have an older Cricut machine and made ornaments and things to sell during the holidays. For Christmas I asked for the new model and my Dad got it for me! I’m so excited about it but have had a serious creative block since getting it. My goal is to make somewhat of a side-business from it once I decide what area I’m best at. Another goal that goes hand in hand with this is to be in the local craft show during November! I’m hoping to break this creative block once I’m finished cleaning up the holiday mess and making some new things! (I’ll be sure to share my entire experience here!)
  6. Save some damn money! — This, too, is one of those things that is constantly on my resolutions! Usually I’m pretty good with saving money til about halfway through the year when that balance is so nice and pretty. This year I am super determined to save money and keep it that way! This is what I want to put towards Christmas (not all, just a small portion) and use the rest as cushion should anything ever happen).
  7. Get Healthier. — Notice I didn’t say lost weight or go on a diet. I just want to get healthier. I’m trying to work myself up to a gallon of water a day (not near as hard as it seems) and working in some kind of light exercise routine. If I lose weight then that’s a plus but I’m not trying to go crazy and lose all these pounds or restrict myself to 1000 calories a day or something. I’m starting small. (This is where my “progress not perfection” motto comes into play.)
  8. Learn/Master some calligraphy — I’ve heard all my life just about how I have such nice/neat/beautiful handwriting. I appreciate it! I often tell people that I got all the practice from all the notes I wrote in high school. (LOL) I asked for (and received) a lettering set for Christmas. I’m slowly getting the hang of brush-tip markers, but it’s definitely more tricky that I thought…I’m hoping my left-handedness doesn’t have anything to do with that…
  9. Watch more movies and shows. — I know I want to read more but I also don’t want to get behind with current shows and movies. I have a handful that I started watching in the Fall but when those go off during the summer I want to be able to watch some shows and such that I never got around to starting.
  10. Successfully keep up with my BuJo! — BuJo is short for Bullet Journal. If you don’t know what it is, just Google it. Seriously. I’ve been a planner my whole life, and this past year I used my first ever Erin Condren planner, but I wanted to try something a little more artistic, so I decided to try my hand at BuJo-ing. Here’s to (hopefully) keeping it up!
  11. Practice Patience. — This is always a big one for me. I never quite have enough patience, but I’m hoping with some of the new things I’m wanting to do, I will develop some sense of it.

Well, that wasn’t too bad. Now the biggest task of the year is to bring myself to actually cross some of these off the list! I hope you have a wonderful year and that you, too, get to cross some resolutions off your list! ♥

Are Best Friends Even A Thing Anymore?

Happy Hump Day! ♥

As I was scrolling through my daily Facebook memories this morning I came across 2 posts from 6–SIX!!!!!–years ago. (Side note: damn, how time flies!) It was between a girl I was super close with after high school; my then best friend. Reading those sappy little best friend posts got me thinking. I miss the hell out of those days. There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not thinking of how things used to be and wondering what it would be like if those people were still in my life.

I like to think that so far in my life I have had 3 best friends:

  1. My best friend from 6th grade to 12th. — We were still friends through the rest of high school and even after we graduated but had a falling out at the end of Senior year and it never felt the same between us. It sounds like a bad break up but that’s what it truly felt like. Fast forward to almost 5 years or so and we barely speak to each other, we live in different towns and have our own lives to live.
  2. My best friend at the end of senior year — I loved this girl to death. She was one of the girls in our little group that I wasn’t too sure of at first but grew so close with. We stayed relatively close for the end of Senior year and up until we had been out of school for almost a year. Some things happened with BF #1, my high school ex-boyfriend, and the guy I had currently been dating, and we all went our separate ways. (Side note: the guy I was currently at that time is the same guy that I’ve posted about several times, he’s the one who moved away that I gave the accidental silent treatment to…)
  3. My “current” friend. — I met this friend my first round of college, we had actually went to high school together but she was a year ahead of me. Around the time the disaster happened with the other 2 friends, we got close. We had a class together and met up for lunch one day, then boom. Instant connection. Fast forward to now and we’re still pretty good friends aside from the fact that she’s the one with feelings for my ex…

That brings me to this: are best friends even a thing? Do they truly exist? Looking back on my list they seem to have all failed in some way or another. Do I just have shitty taste in friends? Is there something wrong with me? Am I a bad friend? (I’ve been accused of being a “bad friend” before…in fact that’s when BF #2 and I kind of went our separate ways for good. Apparently a mutual friend of ours thought so because when BF #2 had issues/problems I “talked about myself too much.” LOL)

I don’t want to be without friends but at the same time, clearly something is wrong with each friendship. — BF #1 didn’t like that I hung out with my high school ex (I can see that, I really needed to move on). BF #2 didn’t like how I offered advice (sometimes the best way for me to explain what I meant with certain things was to give an example using past experience). BF #3 has feelings for my ex (I could rant for days on that).

I don’t know, ya know. Sometimes I feel like my life is in shambles, or that I’m seriously lacking a group of friends. I’ve come to like being a loner honestly so maybe I’m doing just fine. The constant throwbacks on Facebook just get to me sometimes. I guess it just reminds me of how good things felt back before we really had any responsibility, before my life went down a spiral, before I had to really be on my own.

Life Update

Wow. So it’s been quite a while since I last wrote a post, and I apologize for that. School got crazy and life got crazy, I just lost myself for a little bit there. After that wasted weekend I kind of got back into a slump and several other things just kind of took over. I hated that I never had the time to come back and write like I wanted to. Nonetheless, here I am. I want to make the best of this post, so here’s what has been going on…

After that wasted weekend I had, I cut off all ties with him. We still remained followers of each other on social media, well, up until maybe this past week or so when I realized he deleted me off several things…anyway, he didn’t attempt communication and neither did I. I honestly didn’t care, after he dropped me off I attempted conversation and he is the one who quit responding. That was my cue to just drop it. After he wasted my time, which I consider very precious, and acted shady as hell, I made the best decision to quit him all together. I haven’t looked back, and I won’t. Now I know the kind of person he really is and I am so glad my eyes were opened to that.

As for school, ugh. It did not end well and I’m taking a semester off to take a breather. My classes were going well except for Pharmacology. The math went fine, the medications and memorizing them is what I just couldn’t grasp. The first 4 tests were fine, at least an 80 or higher on each one of those. As soon as the chapters started introducing the actual medications, I failed every test. Nothing I did helped, no matter what way I studied I didn’t pass. At the end of the semester I had a 70 average. Exactly a 70. I had to make at least a 68 on the final to keep that 70. The week of finals I was so stressed out and worried that I made myself physically sick at work. I stayed up til almost 2 am going over flashcards and practice tests the day before the final…only to wake up the next morning at 8 am when I was supposed to already be in class waiting to start that final. Talk about pissed. I was fuming. Not only at myself, for forgetting to set my damn alarm, but at the other people in the house who weren’t considerate enough to wake me up to make sure I made it there on time. (That’s another rant in itself.) And no, I’m not blaming them, I take responsibility, but when we just had a conversation that I had to be there AT 8 and you don’t even offer to help make that happen, I get mad as hell. Whatever. Anyway, I missed my final, emailed my teacher who did not respond for 2 fucking days then when she does email me back tells me that I cannot re-take the final because I already re-took a test this semester. So, fine. I will have to re-take this class because of that, which means waiting an entire year almost (next fall semester) when they offer it again.

Waiting a whole semester got me thinking. Why wait a whole semester to take that class for some job like that, not making very much more than minimum wage? I could wait til then to take something for a better degree. I could take the pharmacology I need for my LPN, I could take the microbiology I need to go for my RN…there are so many other options. So, I’m taking next semester off to have a breather. I need to fully decide and commit to what I want to do. I believe nursing is where I should be. If I ever have second thoughts about anything, I always come back to nursing. A lot of people say to find something that you would do for free because of how much you love it…truth is, I wouldn’t do shit for free. Feeling good about my job won’t pay my bills and take care of my kid. I know, it’s just a figure of speech, but I don’t look at shit like that. Sorry. Anyway, I really need that break to calm me down. Going to school, working, and taking care of my child is just too much stress at one time. It’s really wearing me thin and I don’t know how much of it I can take. I’m tired of wasting my time and tuition for nothing to happen, for it all to just be pissed away at the end of term. Shit’s getting old for real. I need a break bad. Not only that, but the teacher I had this semester for 2 of my classes was terrible. Her communication was awful, her lectures were always off topic and drawn out far longer than they needed to be, she was ALWAYS late starting class…I can’t deal with that for a full year. I need some teachers with discipline or sense of time or something, sheesh.

After seeing how stressed out I was after that one test, I knew it was time for a break. Not only that, but like I said, I couldn’t deal with that teacher anymore. She was so unorganized and I can’t function like that. I’m there to learn these skills for a career, I can’t get a job with a half-ass degree because that’s how you teach. Sorry not sorry. I need time to think about what is best for my child and I. Next fall, I’ll be ready to tackle whatever classes I need to get the degree that will make our lives better.

Work has been a pain in the ass, as usual. Sometimes I wonder why I keep going back to that place, and then I remember, “oh yeah, bills and shit.” I get so tired of that shit job with minimum wage pay… I call it a shit job, but it really isn’t bad. They treat me well and I care too much about them to leave them high and dry like some have. I have debated finding something else, but hell, they work well with my school hours and I’m guaranteed 6 days/30ish hours a week with the option to have a day off (besides Sunday). I really wish they’d up my pay another dollar or so because I’ve been there the longest but it’s a small business and I don’t want to be greedy. During Christmas I just try to get my full hours is not a few extra to help boost that paycheck each week.

Speaking of Christmas, I started making some holiday crafts! I have a Cricut machine (mine is older, Expression 2) and haven’t really put it to much use at all since I bought the thing like 2 years ago. A few months back my mom and I ran into someone she went to church with and she was telling us how she had a cutting machine (didn’t say whether it was Cricut of Silhouette) and how she had a few orders to make and showed us what she was making. That got my wheels turning for sure. I looked up some super simple designs, made my first ever vinyl order, and got to crafting! My first project was making initial tumbler for everyone for Christmas. I also made a “Cookies for Santa” set complete with a mug for milk and small plate for reindeer snacks. My most recent craft projects were glittered ornaments which were mostly used for gifts, but I decided to take the plunge and share on Facebook for purchase. I sold 4 in one day! Since then I added a few other designs and ideas, and sold 9 more of my ornaments for pick-up this Friday! I also have some lanterns and stuff that I’ve done as well. (I’ll have all of these items pictured below.) This really just started as a way to take up a little free time and give me a way to give personalized gifts without spending a lot of money. It wasn’t until several people told me how amazing things looked and that I should try to sell them that I actually took the plunge and shared them. I asked for a new machine for Christmas because mine is older and I’m limited to older software. I’m hoping for that new machine as I’ll be able to use the new software and do so many other things. I even looked into doing the local craft fair that’s coming up in March, but I’m not sure. I may just wait until the Holiday show in November so that I can build up some inventory and find what market I want to be in like signs/decor or whatever. I have until January 5th to get my application in for the March show, I still have a lot of deciding to do!

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Pretty much now the only thing I have going on is just working on some of these crafts and finishing up what little bit of Christmas shopping I have left. I’m wanting to wrap things SO BAD but I know Link would NOT leave them alone for anything in the world. (LOL) Just got to hold out for another week or so, I WILL put presents out next week. He’ll just have to learn to leave them alone for a few days. I’m so close to being done with my shopping! I have to buy my grandfather’s (wide-mouth thermos), finish up my Mom, possibly buy my Dad and his partner one more thing, buy my brother’s gift card and get the other’s cash, finish my brother’s girlfriend (movie basket), finish my Secret Santa (also movie basket), and finish up Link’s stocking stuffers. It sounds like a ton, but it really isn’t much at all. Mostly a ton of little things. I posted about the movie baskets in a previous post so those won’t cost me much at all. I have three things coming in tomorrow which are for my best friend’s boyfriend and her mom, and my present that will be from Link. Funny story about the gift from Link, I originally bought it to be to my Mom, but I really liked it and wound up finding her something else instead.

 

Whew, this post turned out quite a bit longer than I was expecting, but oh well. I really need to wrap this up and get some lunch in my belly and finish up these last few ornaments.

If I don’t get a chance to write again as soon as I’d like, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Stay Safe and Be Merry! ♥

A Wasted Weekend.

As promised in my last post, I am making a post delving into how my wasted weekend went. Word to the wise, grab a snack, this may be a long one…

A few months back I was asked to go out-of-town with a friend of mine. We had been talking a bit and reluctantly I said yes. I requested the weekend off of work and instantly got excited. This was my first time ever having a weekend thing with just a guy and myself. We decided that this would be a great way to see how things would go between us and decide if we wanted to take it further. The plan was for us and another couple to go to Jacksonville for the Georgia-Florida game. I was super excited! I would get to meet a few new people, have some adult time, and go to my first ever SEC football game!

Flash forward a few weeks and they decide to cancel. The other couple backed out, so we were going to do the same. He had until October 16 to cancel the reservations. I got a little down because I got all excited for this new experience. It had been over a year since I last saw him and now nothing. So, I told Mom I wouldn’t need her to watch Link anymore and let my boss know I wouldn’t need that weekend off either. Not even three days past the 16th and he messages me letting me know he got busy at work and wasn’t able to cancel, so now he’s either got to go or is out $200 from the hotel. So, I request off again, this time a little more frustrated, and make sure my Mom is still able to watch Link for me.

So, all goes well, the week is finally here and at this point plans have changed multiple times. He’s even mentioned a few times that he doesn’t even want to go, and is only going because he wants to see me and I’ve requested off work already. By now I’m growing more frustrated. I don’t understand why you are asking me to go somewhere and then keep mentioning that you don’t even want to be there.

Fast-forward to this past Friday and it’s finally the day we leave. He picks me up and we head out. I ask what all we are going to do and he acts like he doesn’t know. We went from going to see the game, to not doing anything, then maybe watching it a bar, to doing nothing again. Once we are at the hotel he mentions that we’ll probably just leave the next day. Not only are his constantly changing plans bothering me, but he’s getting a bit annoying. He would not stop groping me and got really pissy when I wouldn’t have sex with him or really even touch him. Just because we had sex or whatever 6 years ago, does not mean we can just up and do it now. I’m on my period and I’m not doing it, sorry not sorry. (Please let me note that he was not actively forcing himself on me, it was more of a playful thing. I was not offended and did not feel that I was being sexually assaulted.)

As I went to sleep that night the only things I could think of was how this was not for me. I could not be with someone like this. I didn’t want someone overly touching me or all over me. I don’t like clingy. Maybe 6 years ago when we first dated I would have like clingy and someone taking a shower with me and all that mess, but not anymore. I like privacy. Maybe I’m just meant to be alone, who knows. I am firm in my belief that he is not for me and I am so glad I realized that.

My last post about the three things I have come to realize were all confirmed with his experience. I kept feeling lie I needed to apologize for the way I was acting or whatever. He called me shady for saying things through text message and not being able to “follow through” with any of it face-to-face. Automatically I wanted to “apologize” and come up with some reason as to why I was like that. As soon as I got home I realized that there was no reason as to why I should apologize for the way I feel. This was my first time seeing him in over a year, I’m sorry… <– this, this is what I’m talking about. Without even realizing I was saying it, I wanted to apologize for my feelings. I wanted to do that the whole time I was down there, but as soon as I got home I realized I shouldn’t have to. If you can’t be respectful of me and my views, then we more than likely shouldn’t even be together.

That brings me to the point of not going back to your past. If this weekend showed me anything it was that it isn’t worth going back to my past. Not only did this guy become a total flop, but my one important “fling” a few months back is now engaged after 6 short month of dating (I’m not going to be petty about it, his life, whatever), and my ex (Link’s “dad”) blocked me on Facebook. That last one is just humorous to me.

Anywho..I feel like I mostly rambled throughout this post more than anything, but it’s bothered me ever since we left that hotel.

I hope this at least gave you something to read for a bit. Here’s to hoping your weekend went a hell of a lot better than mine did. Stay strong, keep your head up. ♥

Here’s What I’ve Learned This Month.

So it’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve been in a slump with a lot of things and my past few weekends have been busy, and now I finally got a break so I can catch up. Being that October is nearly at a close, I figured I would share a few things that I have “learned” over the past few weeks. I’ll try to keep the length kind of decent, but don’t worry, some of them will have their own spin-off post. Lol

Now, without further adieu, here’s my list…

1) The Past is the Past for a Reason.  Long story short for me, sometimes delving in the past isn’t the best choice. If you dated someone and it didn’t work out then, chances are it won’t work out this time either. I thought trying to have another go with an ex (or two) would be good. I was comfortable with them, they knew me well, and I was pretty sure I, too, knew them well. However, things change, people show their “true” colors, and well, time doesn’t always mend things. There will still be faults, people change, and sometimes it’s best to leave the past behind you. I had a hard time realizing this until I got not one, but two doses of this. I had not one, but two guys who showed me that the past is not the way I should go, and I am very thankful for that.

2) You Don’t Have to Apologize.  Over the weekend I made this realization. Why am I apologizing for my thoughts and feelings? Chances are, whatever I said and did, was because I felt strongly about it. Now, if you didn’t mean to do or say something, then obviously, it’s nice if you do apologize, but I’m not talking about that. If you are standing up for what you believe in, why apologize? I shouldn’t apologize for my political views, for my thoughts and beliefs, for things that make me uncomfortable, or for not feeling the same way someone else does. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in!

3) It’s Okay to Let People Go.  Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to let someone go. They don’t have to be 100% toxic to us, they don’t have to necessarily be a “bad” person. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, how well you know them, or how close you are to them. Once true colors show and you know that this person won’t be a match for you, it’s okay to let them go. This goes for others outside of the “potential partner” range. If there is someone you trust don’t see eye-to-eye with, or family members who only bring you down, it’s ok to let it all go. Everyone deserves a positive chance at life, and the best way to go about that is ridding your life of toxic people.

All three of these things have added up to someone I once again let into my life, and have realized that he is a no-go for me. I’m pissed it caused me a wasted weekend and 2 missed days of work, but well, how else would I have known? I’m thankful for these realizations now as I’m sure it saved me a lot of hurt and regret later on down the road.

Here’s to a brand new me and no more looking back. ♥

Here’s to 25.

Normally I don’t post on Saturdays, but since today is my birthday, I figured today was a pretty good one to clear my mind.

Today I turned 25. I’m officially halfway through my 20’s. I’m closer to 30 than I’ve ever been. Today, I should be all kinds of giddy, but instead, I have this overwhelming bittersweet feeling.

I’m 25. Where did the time go? What have I done with my life? Why do I feel so stuck?

Here I am. I’ve got a shit job, I still have no degree, no love interest, no place or car of my own. I’ve got Link and well, that’s pretty much it. He makes me whole and gives me light when I’m in complete darkness, but I still feel empty. I feel like I should have more purpose in my life. I’m at a dead-end right now. I’m in a slump and hell, I don’t know.

When I was younger, I thought I had it all figured out, all planned out. I wanted to graduate, start college, graduate college by 22, be married by 24-25, and have children by 27. But, yet again, here I am. I’m 25 and so far the only thing I have accomplished is graduating high school, starting college, and having a child. Sure, that may seem like a lot to some, and in reality it is, but at the same time, I’m only part of the way to where I want to be.

The beginning of my 20’s was terrible. I was in an awful relationship, I had no idea where my life was going (still don’t), I was trying to live on my own (and somewhat failing), I wasn’t in school or even trying to go back, and I was partially miserable. Fast-forward to 25 and I’ve somewhat picked up a lot of those broken pieces from that shitty relationship, I’ve gotten almost finished with school, and I’m raising a sweet little boy on my own.

25 is my chance to get my life where I want it to be. While I can’t go out and skip town and do something crazy (I’m a mother after all), I can make a lot of small adjustments. First up is to take life one moment at a time. There’s always something constantly needing to be done, especially when it comes to being a mother and student, so I want to learn how to make more time for myself. Even if that means just simply taking a bubble bath one night after work or sitting outside reading while Link plays.

I want to live and love freely. I want to show the world how amazing and independent I can be. I want someone to acknowledge that and love me for it. There is so much more to me than looks and personality. I want to be more carefree. At times it’s hard to look past other’s comments and concerns, but I have to remind myself that it isn’t their life and I could give a shit less about their opinions. I’ve also got to get a grip on my emotions. I need to learn to manage my anger. I need to manage stress more and learn to radiate happiness.

All in all, I’m determined to make this the best damn year I can for not only myself, but for Link, too.

Here’s to 25 being the change I’ve needed. ♥

Why I Only Wash My Hair Once a Week.

Hey Loves ♥

Yes. I only wash my hair once a week. If you’re like most people, you’re probably thinking that I’m totally disgusting. I promise, I have valid reasoning for it. Keep reading and I’ll give you all of my reasons why.

Long Hair Means Tangles.  If you haven’t noticed in some of my  outfit posts, I have pretty long hair. Not only is it a bit long, it’s also rather thick. (Thanks, Dad.) My hair has always been easy to tangle and get knotted up. One hair flip the wrong way could end up in a mess of knots and tangles. It sounds crazy, but my hair is so bad about that. The less I wash it, the less I have to brush through it. (Let me note here, that this is one place that I need to work on — after watching several YouTube videos about others who only wash their hair once a week, they brush their hair every night and I do not.) Anyway…regardless of what I do in the shower, how well I brush it out beforehand, and how I put it up in the towel (or if I even do), it *still* gets incredibly tangled. I usually just suck it up and brush it out, but the tangles make it worth not washing til the end of the week.

I Wear My Hair Up Anyway.  I work as a cashier in a pizza restaurant so naturally, I have to wear my hair up. If I have to wear it up anyway, then there isn’t too much of a point to wash it every single day. After a few days (2-3) my hair starts to get a bit oily on my scalp. When going to class, I find other ways to wear it. Sometimes I just throw it into a bun, but other times I’ll look up some hairstyles on YouTube and pray my dry shampoo looks okay. I’m generally okay with wearing it down for class the majority of the week. I usually keep it straight Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday I may curl it and then it’s ok for a curly ponytail. It isn’t until Thursday that it looks pretty rough when down, so that ponytail works for me. (The curls help keep it cute.)

My Hair Stays Healthier.  Washing your hair so often is quite damaging actually. I have found, since limiting the amount I wash it, that it looks so much healthier. My split ends aren’t nearly as bad (it also helps to get regular trims). I also highlight my hair, which is mostly bleach anyway, so not washing it that much helps keep those looking great as well. When my hair has been colored, I found that the color stayed so much longer being it wasn’t continuously being washed out.

In The Shower.  You may be wondering what I use to wash my hair with being I only use it once a week. I actually only use my regular shampoo and a hair mask/deep conditioner treatment. My shampoo is the Herbal Essence Long Term Relationship and the conditioner I use is a hair mask type thing by Suave. When using heat on my hair (which is rare), I use the Aussie heat protecting spray and usually some sort of shine serum.

What I Need to Work On.  So, as I mentioned before, I have a few things I need to work on when going about my hair washing and all. First, I need to keep it brushed regularly. I think that would eliminate a lot of the tangles, especially before wash-day. Second, I need to work on my ends. They tend to get a bit dry and damaged looking. (I don’t use heat to dry, and rarely straighten or curl it.) I also need to get better grade products. I’m just using Herbal Essence and Suave. I know it may not help 100%, but a better line of products may make it just that much healthier.

 

I hope this made a little bit of sense to you when it comes to my hair washing. If anything happens to change, I’ll be sure to give an update.

Have a wonderful week! ♥