Wow. So it’s been quite a while since I last wrote a post, and I apologize for that. School got crazy and life got crazy, I just lost myself for a little bit there. After that wasted weekend I kind of got back into a slump and several other things just kind of took over. I hated that I never had the time to come back and write like I wanted to. Nonetheless, here I am. I want to make the best of this post, so here’s what has been going on…
After that wasted weekend I had, I cut off all ties with him. We still remained followers of each other on social media, well, up until maybe this past week or so when I realized he deleted me off several things…anyway, he didn’t attempt communication and neither did I. I honestly didn’t care, after he dropped me off I attempted conversation and he is the one who quit responding. That was my cue to just drop it. After he wasted my time, which I consider very precious, and acted shady as hell, I made the best decision to quit him all together. I haven’t looked back, and I won’t. Now I know the kind of person he really is and I am so glad my eyes were opened to that.
As for school, ugh. It did not end well and I’m taking a semester off to take a breather. My classes were going well except for Pharmacology. The math went fine, the medications and memorizing them is what I just couldn’t grasp. The first 4 tests were fine, at least an 80 or higher on each one of those. As soon as the chapters started introducing the actual medications, I failed every test. Nothing I did helped, no matter what way I studied I didn’t pass. At the end of the semester I had a 70 average. Exactly a 70. I had to make at least a 68 on the final to keep that 70. The week of finals I was so stressed out and worried that I made myself physically sick at work. I stayed up til almost 2 am going over flashcards and practice tests the day before the final…only to wake up the next morning at 8 am when I was supposed to already be in class waiting to start that final. Talk about pissed. I was fuming. Not only at myself, for forgetting to set my damn alarm, but at the other people in the house who weren’t considerate enough to wake me up to make sure I made it there on time. (That’s another rant in itself.) And no, I’m not blaming them, I take responsibility, but when we just had a conversation that I had to be there AT 8 and you don’t even offer to help make that happen, I get mad as hell. Whatever. Anyway, I missed my final, emailed my teacher who did not respond for 2 fucking days then when she does email me back tells me that I cannot re-take the final because I already re-took a test this semester. So, fine. I will have to re-take this class because of that, which means waiting an entire year almost (next fall semester) when they offer it again.
Waiting a whole semester got me thinking. Why wait a whole semester to take that class for some job like that, not making very much more than minimum wage? I could wait til then to take something for a better degree. I could take the pharmacology I need for my LPN, I could take the microbiology I need to go for my RN…there are so many other options. So, I’m taking next semester off to have a breather. I need to fully decide and commit to what I want to do. I believe nursing is where I should be. If I ever have second thoughts about anything, I always come back to nursing. A lot of people say to find something that you would do for free because of how much you love it…truth is, I wouldn’t do shit for free. Feeling good about my job won’t pay my bills and take care of my kid. I know, it’s just a figure of speech, but I don’t look at shit like that. Sorry. Anyway, I really need that break to calm me down. Going to school, working, and taking care of my child is just too much stress at one time. It’s really wearing me thin and I don’t know how much of it I can take. I’m tired of wasting my time and tuition for nothing to happen, for it all to just be pissed away at the end of term. Shit’s getting old for real. I need a break bad. Not only that, but the teacher I had this semester for 2 of my classes was terrible. Her communication was awful, her lectures were always off topic and drawn out far longer than they needed to be, she was ALWAYS late starting class…I can’t deal with that for a full year. I need some teachers with discipline or sense of time or something, sheesh.
After seeing how stressed out I was after that one test, I knew it was time for a break. Not only that, but like I said, I couldn’t deal with that teacher anymore. She was so unorganized and I can’t function like that. I’m there to learn these skills for a career, I can’t get a job with a half-ass degree because that’s how you teach. Sorry not sorry. I need time to think about what is best for my child and I. Next fall, I’ll be ready to tackle whatever classes I need to get the degree that will make our lives better.
Work has been a pain in the ass, as usual. Sometimes I wonder why I keep going back to that place, and then I remember, “oh yeah, bills and shit.” I get so tired of that shit job with minimum wage pay… I call it a shit job, but it really isn’t bad. They treat me well and I care too much about them to leave them high and dry like some have. I have debated finding something else, but hell, they work well with my school hours and I’m guaranteed 6 days/30ish hours a week with the option to have a day off (besides Sunday). I really wish they’d up my pay another dollar or so because I’ve been there the longest but it’s a small business and I don’t want to be greedy. During Christmas I just try to get my full hours is not a few extra to help boost that paycheck each week.
Speaking of Christmas, I started making some holiday crafts! I have a Cricut machine (mine is older, Expression 2) and haven’t really put it to much use at all since I bought the thing like 2 years ago. A few months back my mom and I ran into someone she went to church with and she was telling us how she had a cutting machine (didn’t say whether it was Cricut of Silhouette) and how she had a few orders to make and showed us what she was making. That got my wheels turning for sure. I looked up some super simple designs, made my first ever vinyl order, and got to crafting! My first project was making initial tumbler for everyone for Christmas. I also made a “Cookies for Santa” set complete with a mug for milk and small plate for reindeer snacks. My most recent craft projects were glittered ornaments which were mostly used for gifts, but I decided to take the plunge and share on Facebook for purchase. I sold 4 in one day! Since then I added a few other designs and ideas, and sold 9 more of my ornaments for pick-up this Friday! I also have some lanterns and stuff that I’ve done as well. (I’ll have all of these items pictured below.) This really just started as a way to take up a little free time and give me a way to give personalized gifts without spending a lot of money. It wasn’t until several people told me how amazing things looked and that I should try to sell them that I actually took the plunge and shared them. I asked for a new machine for Christmas because mine is older and I’m limited to older software. I’m hoping for that new machine as I’ll be able to use the new software and do so many other things. I even looked into doing the local craft fair that’s coming up in March, but I’m not sure. I may just wait until the Holiday show in November so that I can build up some inventory and find what market I want to be in like signs/decor or whatever. I have until January 5th to get my application in for the March show, I still have a lot of deciding to do!
Pretty much now the only thing I have going on is just working on some of these crafts and finishing up what little bit of Christmas shopping I have left. I’m wanting to wrap things SO BAD but I know Link would NOT leave them alone for anything in the world. (LOL) Just got to hold out for another week or so, I WILL put presents out next week. He’ll just have to learn to leave them alone for a few days. I’m so close to being done with my shopping! I have to buy my grandfather’s (wide-mouth thermos), finish up my Mom, possibly buy my Dad and his partner one more thing, buy my brother’s gift card and get the other’s cash, finish my brother’s girlfriend (movie basket), finish my Secret Santa (also movie basket), and finish up Link’s stocking stuffers. It sounds like a ton, but it really isn’t much at all. Mostly a ton of little things. I posted about the movie baskets in a previous post so those won’t cost me much at all. I have three things coming in tomorrow which are for my best friend’s boyfriend and her mom, and my present that will be from Link. Funny story about the gift from Link, I originally bought it to be to my Mom, but I really liked it and wound up finding her something else instead.
Whew, this post turned out quite a bit longer than I was expecting, but oh well. I really need to wrap this up and get some lunch in my belly and finish up these last few ornaments.
If I don’t get a chance to write again as soon as I’d like, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Stay Safe and Be Merry! ♥